Sunday, May 20, 2018

空欢喜一场 之 真的结束了吗?

the week that i returned home after the first 离家出走记 was blissful... we went Lola's on Wed, we celebrated his birthday at Tunglok on Thursday, we chilled together on Friday night at Switch, we spent time together on Saturday from lunch to dinner with a little shopping at suntec in between after he went to collect his sundown marathon pack... i thought we would work it out.... slowly but surely.... cos we love each other... 

he even brought up the topic on getting the clock tattoo which he has been wanting to do ... he didnt do it previously because he couldnt answer my question on what time does he plan to make it permanent on him.... this time round, he told me he wants it at 7 点十一个字 to represent the day we got together, 11 July.... i smiled and said okay, i support... and he teased me that so long it's about us, everything is okay hor?.... yes, cos besides his heart, his body is mine too... 

Things changed a little after his meeting with his ex-boss on that Saturday night ... his ex-boss offered him the same position as sale manager or even higher if he's willing to return after his NIE bond, 4 years from now... i dont know what else they had discussed but i know this idea excites him alot... he was grining from ear to ear even though he kept saying, "aiya, it's 4 years later, anything can change.. may not come true also"... i told him whatever he decides, i will support him... 

he was out almost every night there after till the wee-mornings to celebrate his birthdays with friends even though i was rather sick at home from Wednesday onwards... i din ask him to accompany me.... he didnt think there was a need to accompany me... 我很乖, 我没闹, 没给黑脸, 没有 roll eyes... i always say "Have a good time and enjoy ur night'... and thanks to the medication, i just went to sleep at 10+pm almost every night ... 

but overall, he was still sweet to me... as he was injured from a soccer game the previous week, he couldnt go for his sundown on sat night so he made plans to pick me up from volunteering work to have dinner together then proceed to OSG bar to listen to his ex-tuition kid, Gwendolyn's singing... 

But on sat morning, his ex-boss asked him for a meet-up... he was very excited over why his ex-boss would ask for a meet-up so soon and thus flew my aeroplane... i wasnt angry but was definitely disappointed cos i really really dislike his ex-boss... he was still sweet and suggested to have yakun for breakfast and also to have dinner together on sunday ... double score happiness... =)... i am really easily satisfied when i can feel the love de.... =)  

he reached home at 3+am after catching the FA cup with his ex-boss. I was awake as my cough woke me up to take my medication. He announced with much glee that his ex-boss offered him 100k/year, sales directorship, profit sharing and even asked if his wife who is the current sale manager should be under his charge too... i was kind of drowsy from the medication and was at a lost on how to react so i just listened, maybe nodded here & there and smiled a few courtesy smiles... guess he could sense i wasnt really interested and as excited as he was so he stopped and we went to bed... each in our own thoughts... 

i woke him up at 10am the next morning for our yakun breakfast... but i could feel that the attitude totally mega dived in the 5-6 hours that we were sleeping/thinking... so i asked him if he had made a decision... he said he will sell his car if the NIE bond has to be paid in one lump sum... i told him that it can be repaid in installments... i also told him, i will support his decision and even offered to share to pay the bond since he had felt that it was my fault for 'nagging and coercing him' to join MOE 2 years ago... 

i wasnt prepared for the hell that broke lose almost immediately... he told me that he regretted being 心软 and for asking me to return back to our home sweet home after the first 离家出走记... he feels that the love is gone... now he just want to be all alone, by himself, dont want family, dont want me, don't want his parents, dont want the pups... he just want to be alone and that he will move out that very night..... WTF had just happened?!?!?!?!... how come can escalate so fast de?!?!?!?!? 

seriously, this ex-boss of his is a mega 小人 in our marriage.... i never hated someone so much.... i hate this guy call KENNY from voltrium system pte ltd to the maximum core... i do not believe in everything that he has lured akm with... who in the right mind will want to look for a successor at age 45?!?!?! who in the right mind will want to share a company which he had single handedly built up the last 18 years... A LIER for sure... i m very sure he just wanna make use of akm's chiongness to earn more profit cos NONE of his employees in his last 18 years managed to do anything great... come on, after 18 years, his company is still a miserable less than 8 people company and one who has no employee who will stay for more than 3/4 years?!?!?!?!?  i really dont know what akm sees in this company?!?!?!?!? ... machiam 中邪了... 

anyway, he repeatedly insisted that i wont accept who he will become eventually when he's back into his sale job... he very confidently claimed that i will not be genuinely happy if we continue to be together ... he just want me to go, to leave him alone and if i don't, he will do the extreme of getting and bedding a new girl immediately, which he knows is something that i really cannot accept... i begged him not to do this to a girl, to himself and to me... i really dont understand his logic when he's in his illogical mood....

but sadly, i have to agree with him. I really won't like the him that he will be becoming... one who smokes, yes, he and i know he will pick up smoking again just like how he picked it up while working back there 2 years ago... it took a long while of nagging and coercing him to change for the better to eventually get him to quit... his definition of 'nagging and coercing him to change for the better' is my definition of 'sharing my opinion, i just want the best for you' ... i mean why pick up something which u know is harmful and smelly?!?!?!?! ... 

we also know that he will also be putting in at least 19 hours each day on his job on site and at home preparing quotation & shooting emails etc... yes, he can survive with super little sleep over long period of time when he needs to and when he wants to.... he used to say that i stressed him up when i kept asking him to sleep early during his uni days... 

he will be flying all over the world to open new markets, for trade shows, to meet suppliers etc ... dosent matter that these will eat into his weekends, public holiday, family time, us time... dosen matter that that shitty company only give him 10 days leave that are forced over xmas, new year and cny... meaning that he cant take leave as and when he wants .... 

this was a huge issue between us previously cos it means that he wont be able to go on any holiday with me so long that i am still a teacher and i did acted up a little during his 2 years with the company previously... this contributed to his change of work in 2016 which he regretted deeply and this contributed to how he sees me as a hindrance in his life for his career achievement... 

i assume i was his love then, that's why he did all that he could to do the things i prefer, always seeking my opinions, changing his job so that we can have common holidays together, showering me with lots of love, care, hugs and kisses till i felt i was the luckiest girl every single day for the last 9 years.... but god knows why and how, out of nowhere, he realised that his love for sale/ career/ power is his one mega love, one so strong that he's willing to trade everything he has for it... 真的是中邪了... 

our values and priorities used to be the same 9 years ago... he told me he is a family person, he tells his mum everything and seeks comfort in his mum when he broke up with his previous gf... that he is a very simple man who also enjoys cheap stuff and is not into branded and spending money unnecessary... he is also very 长情 towards the things that he likes... example, he only plays one game - Fifa, he only plays one sport - badminton, he only watches one program - EPL, he only supports one soccer team - Man U... and all these love started in primary school till then and actually is still on-going... 

it was all these that he said that I decided to give our relationship a start...that was in 2009.... when i was 28 and him only 21.... i din change throughout these years, he did.... he outgrown them... 

but one thing remains the same for him, is how fast and furious he makes his decisions.... the whole roller coaster ride, from us not noticing any cracks to him insisting on a divorce now, now, now has a time span of only 5 weeks... everything was still blissfully fine as of 16 April morning when i went to work and him to OBS...  

i had helped him pack his bag the night before, making sure he had everything he needed and teaching him how to roll his clothing to save space for his return trip etc.... he texted me our usual 'love you lots' and updated me that he was on the boat toward the OBS campsite at 9.24 am before his phone was quarantine by the instructors... and everything is over on 20 May evening even after much pleading from me, yes... i am that useless... he still insisted that it's over between us...  我们真的结束了吗?... 



猛追的,是他
要快快结婚的,也是他
现在吵着要马上离婚的,也是他

非常舍得 but i am always on the receiving end of all his decisions... 


In Loving Memories of Ang's Love

13 June 2009 - 16 April 2018?

2 comments:

Sherryl said...

Are U okay???

Anonymous said...

He is such an asshole!