news of Aloysius Pang's death has me thinking of 'nonsense' stuff since it broke out yesterday...
my first encounter with death of someone relatable was that of Anthony in 2005... cried much... and in a blink of an eye, 13.5 years have passed... couldn't even remember when was the last time i visited him...
second encounter was that of a friend's father in 2007... an uncle who walked faster than all of us who were at least 30 years his junior on our macritchie hike just 2-3 weeks before he left due to a common flu virus which went awry...
third encounter was that of my biological father in 2015... someone tied by blood but was as foreign as a stranger on the road... did my part to give him a proper closure to his life, a sad & lonely one that required an estranged daughter to handle his departure with his estranged ex-wife...
i dont know Aloysius personally, nor am i a fan... he's just one of the few Mediacorp's current male actors who is my style of eye-candy; cute, tall & skinny... the other two are Nick Teo and Desmond Tan...
packed together that he died from a freak accident during reservist got me thinking of how fragile life is and how fated / planned events in our life are set to be....
so then why do some people have to suffer while some don't??? who determined when who is to leave and how one shall leave???
this leads me to the thinking of 'karma'... karma from past actions???.. how past is past??? previous life??? why should one be punished for the wrong deed committed in the previous life??? why can't karma be immediate and direct on the person who did wrong in the present life??? Wouldn't this have a better deterrent effect???
i don't like the idea of karma; paying for the misdeed from previous life... i feel that i have been a rather good individual this life so i cant imagine myself doing any wrong deeds that warrant the tough periods in my life thus far...
i think it all boils down to being suay ...no other explanations to why events happen... just suay to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and met with the wrong people and allowing the wrong people to mess up / end my life...
i dont have to go through anymore awful periods in my life... life now is just about staying alive; eat, sleep, breathe & work...
feeling horrid today.... =S
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