it's a vast changes which i fear, hate & 怨 yet forced to accept year...
i'm a self-proclaimed tech 'dinosaur'... been taking super teeny tiny mini steps in using tech in my classes by starting with Quiver app for the P2 last year and adding on by using Seesaw app for peer critic with my P4 this year...
then came covid-19 leading to full home base learning in April followed by absolutely no intermingling and having to stay in the classroom for art lessons from June onwards, i became tech savvy enough to use SLS for all my lessons and i grew to love it especially for the upper primary lessons where self-directed learning is achieved many levels up... =)
after an unexplainable change in his thinking towards us in April 2018, we had our very first confrontational episode in our 9 years together which led to him wanting an end and an out... hopping to give him space for logic thinking, i returned to woodlands, he asked me to come home a day later, he then left 2 weeks after, disappeared for 7 months, came back for 2 weeks, left again after 2 weeks, disappeared once more for 4 months, came back for the 3rd time, stayed for 9 months and left for the final time this February...
and as per always, i was forced to accept whatever outcome he wanted, even when the way he did it was based on 2 pages of lies which were used to terminate our relationship within the shortest time possible as his next wife-to-be was already pregnant... i'm utterly embarrassed and ashamed for once having him as my Mr... din even bother to defend, that's how indifferent i have become because of his uselessness...
i forgave him again and again for his impulse, for his betrayal, yet got trashed again and again... he had allowed himself to become the type of man which he himself despised and mocked at when he was in his early 20s...
we used to think that i was brave to invest my prime in a blue chip him because he was smart, hardworking, and committed in our relationship... so i didnt mind being the main contributor for our little home sweet home despite having the whole chuas' expenses on my pay check...
it turned out that i was naïve and that you are actually an empty shell... you never took the initiative to take over or share the home expenses even when you started working, you would declare that your take home salary was less than mine even though you were earning much more than me with all your tuition assignments... and when finally your salary was comparable, you rather spend thousands on your tattoos, thousands on driving a branded car every month... you claimed that what you have would be kept for more holidays for us, to invest in a better future for us ... this future never came...
your self-centeredness & lack of responsibility as a husband was there right from the start or it was even earlier when you ignored the financial stress that i had during our resale flat purchase... 25k of cov + 32k of reno all on me... loving you really did blind me...
you taught me never to trust promises anymore... no matter how rosy the current situation is... no matter how sincere the promises are... no matter how much love there is at the beginning...
i wish you a long life...
the pups are a good 9.5 years old which made them senior dogs liao... due to severe cataract, snowy is sleeping even more than she used to... and because she cant really find her way about, she resorts to peeing anywhere and everywhere as and when she feels like it... and of cos brownie will follow suit lo...
brownie underwent an emergency op just this month... everything is fine now but the day of the op was a day of roller coaster emotions which made me re-think if i should have other pets after their passing... the connection, fear, love, heartache is no joke too...
the only area where everything is calm & stable this year is 蔡家... thank god...
三年的厄运 该到个段落了吧 ???
我从小就不贪心, 我只求 平平 安安, 简简 单单 地过每一天, 每一年。
请不要再让任何人硬挤进我的人生里。我不需要。
那些用真心爱我, 护我一辈子的亲人和朋友已经在我身边至少15 年了... 够了。 我感恩了。
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